Has Your Marriage Had Its Wellness Check Lately?
Keeping Marriages Tuned Up Over Time
By Brandon Risher, M.A., L.P.A.; Licensed Psychological Associate
The everyday interactions of a relationship can be numerous and all encompassing. Due to thevarious tasks of work, parenting, and life, many couples may neglect to take inventory on the quality of their relationship. The “relationship check-‐up” is designed to evaluate where couples are with the large domains of a relationship. These major domains are: communication, friendship, intimacy, and finances.
Communication -‐ This domain is the most important because it encompasses all aspects of a The purpose of communication is to have clarity towards actions. Many couples feels that they understand their partner’s desires, drives, and words. The relationship check-‐up can evaluate how well each member in the relationship understand each other so that a shared set of actions can be followed.
Friendship – This domain is the easiest to ignore, but critical for its longevity. Sustainable relationships depend on the enjoyment of being around each other. This can be easily lost due to the realization that their partner cannot be the person of their dreams in perpetuity.For this domain, relationship check-‐up can assist couples in rekindling the aspects of each other that they like in one another.
Intimacy – The domain includes both emotional and sexual intimacy. Sex is one of the major differentiating factors between a platonic friendship anda romantic relationship. An open dialogue between partners on desire and having their sexual needs met is essential to healthy intimacy. Conversely, sex can be used as a tool to force power and compliance in a relationship. This use of sex is indicative of other and more fundamental problems in a relationship.
- Finances – Depending on the nature of the relationship, how finances are handled can cause a relationship discord. Both partners have to have a shared vision of how the finances are handled and how it is beneficial for both parties. Being honest and open about how money is allocated, saved, and spent can make each person in the relationship feel more like a partner.